Crashzalot's Report on Everything & Everyone at Parkside!!!

Since spring break was this week and I could sleep in to my heart's
desire, I made the resolution to ride my brains out and leave
everything on the roads of Parkside this last Sunday.
Even though the variables of the Women's open race were very
different from those of last week, the outcome was very much the
same. The field grew both in numbers and in strength, and I couldn't
use any masters this time, so achieving my plan of a breakaway would
take a lot more thought and concentration. Oh, yeah, and did I
mention that it was about 281 degrees warmer than last week? Yes, it
would certainly be hard getting used to the feeling of -20 pounds
worth of layers, in fact, I think I was levitating for a good portion
of the race

Several attacks issued right from the gun, but none
prevailed. Compared to last week, this was an attack-a-thon, leaving
everyone with their eyes peeled at all times like a freshly-peeled,
juicy Florida grapefruit. Despite the fact that everyone wanted
their slice of the attack pie, I only focused on the few women I knew
had a chance of staying away. For the first half of the race I sat
near the front, pouncing only on the stronger attackers' wheels,
leaving the rest to eventually be swallowed whole by the pack much
like how a python swallows a tiny, helpless mouse without a second
thought. Only in the latter part of the race did I spend any energy
on attacking, but each time I would glace behind me only to see the
entire pack hungrily sapping at my wheel.

Then, believe it or not, the Masterly Men actually passed us,
making us look like a bunch of little pansies going out for a nice
morning ride. Then, a woman with many brain cells in her head went
for the attack, flying past the Masterly Men at the most opportune
time before they swarmed the road, blocking the women off from the
break. As the pack struggled to find a way around the Masterly Men,
I pushed it into full throttle and slipped through a gap in theirfield and chased in pursuit of the XXX lady who had gotten away.

Catching her, we worked together until she, too, disappeared from my
wheel and I ended up finishing to a solo first place just like last

Four hours later I found myself again racing with the cat. 3
men, who, thankfully, didn't seem to panic at the sight of me (I must
have left a good impression last week). This race occurred quite the
same as the former cat. 3 race except for four small differences: 1)
The race was blistering fast (and hot), which shed men like a python
(mentioned earlier) sheds it's skin, 2) I found myself to be far more
comfortable this time, even daring to move up several times and
actually look fast, 3) I didn't lose a contact, and 4) I got the
chance to practice avoiding a close crash at 3 laps to go, but
unfortunately lost the pack, and was forced to drill it to the finish
in 39th place, beating 10 guys. I came, I saw, I kicked cat. 3
arse. Mission accomplished.

Congrats also to: Sue Semaszczuk with a 5th in the women's 4
and Gina Kenny who made a pack finish in the same category, Bill
Kallas and Jan Wierzbicki who annihilated the men's 60+ with a 3rd
and 5th, Pat Murphy who swept his field for 1st. Some strong pack
finishes were Steve Middaugh in the 40+, Don Jones, Pat Murphy, and
Ken Fry in the 50+, Scott and Alex Boden, Paul Zelewski, and Ben
Demong braving the cat 4s, and also congrats to Ryan Cooper who
crushed the 4s with 4th and Sam Brower who placed well with 16th in
the cat. 3s. Last, but not least, the cat. 1/2s did their usual
awesome job as Ebert took 2rd, Rob Jungles took 7th and Alex Sharren
worked his bum off to help his teammates but ended with a strong pack

I feel like I'm taking Ebert's job…

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